A Million Pieces

Note:  I depart from Uganda after 3 years here on June 3rd.  Many of my posts around this time will be various reflections on my time here in East Africa.

What does it feel like to be leaving?  How do you feel about leaving? 

I have no idea. 

It feels like the world is crashing down
Like a massive earth quake just struck

It feels like a quiet, still morning at a peaceful lake
It feels like the soft whisper of the breeze on a beautiful day

Leaving feels like my heart is being torn out
And that life is being breathed into me

It's not real, and it won't be
until planes and trains and thousands of miles away

Away, Away from these years
glory, terror, wonder, pain, progress and total failure.

What does it feel like to be leaving?
It feels like I am being cut into a million pieces
again
to be tossed on the winds of change
parts of my heart fly to every corner of the sky

And so I fly, beyond
half way around the world
and back again

To belong means nothing
I belong everywhere and nowhere

I leave behind those I have loved more deeply than I have ever before
I leave behind those who have hurt me more than I can speak
I leave behind old things, new things, death and life

And so I am going
I'm not really feeling
because if I were, it would be so much
far too much to speak
far too high for small words to satisfy

Laughter and Tears
Memories of these 3 years
More than I can ever tell, explain, unfold

All I can say are simple words;
I gave, I received
I lost, I gained
I trust that this was not in vain