So reality hit hard. I can’t take very many books, gifts, or pretty much anything except the VERY basic nessecities! So my packing list got a little more intense and I got a lot less attached to the idea of comfort.
To be honest, since I decided to go on this service adventure, there have been a couple of specific things I have been thinking about. Two specifically come to mind: hot showers and toilet paper. I like both of these things. I think that is normal.
I will not have these things for the majority of my trip. As this realization has been sinking in, I’ve been “counting the cost” of this time of service. Is it worth it to give up my wonderfully fluffy pillow, warm bed, hot showers, toilet paper, hair dryer, make up, variety of clothing, music, ipod, computer… to go try to serve those who live in anything but my normal conditions?
I want to make it very clear that I have considered the other costs as well. The physical price my body could possibly pay is very high. *Please know* I am taking all of the needed precautions to stay healthy and safe during my travels. I know it might sound like I am running towards danger… what with going to Southern Sudan and Kenya… but please, know that I am doing my very best to ensure my own health and safety. My hope and prayer is that I do not get so sick that I am unable to serve. A little bit of sickness comes with the territory.
So. I’ve been counting. What have I come up with?
I’ve come up with the fact that I am blessed beyond words. My lines have fallen in incredibly pleasant places. I am, perhaps, soft. I have been cared for, fed, sheltered, and provided for incredibly throughout my life. And most of all I have been enormously loved, even when I do not deserve it.
And now, I must go. I have been filled with love and everything I need… physically and otherwise. But there are so many, billions , who do not have that love, that care, provision. Yes, I want to change the world… the systems and structures that create poverty.
But I don’t mind being small. I will start by holding an orphan, seeing the light come into the eyes of a school girl when she realizes her own worth, by coming along side people in kitchens and in pastures… lighten the load, share a laugh.
The people of Africa… and indeed the whole developing world… do not have time to be bored, depressed, or discontent. They are full of joy, life, and they live a very real life. I experienced this in Mexico, Jamaica, and Uganda. I am meant to be part of this. The laughter and tears, the pain and the joy, a part of the cycle of life in Africa… that makes her heart beat. I can’t wait to embrace, listen and learn from these people!
Our western world is so loud and bright. Africa is not. I am glad to get away from all of this. And give myself for someone else.
With 44lbs on my weak back and a passport in hand I am going to go to Africa. I am taking steps to be safe, and I am trusting that I am doing my part in this. If I am injured or die… that’s what my story is meant to be.
The cost is being counted. The bags weighed. Choices made.
It’s time for some long awaited dreams to come true.
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