Hanging up the red cape

I’ve been sick.  Not deathly ill sick, but decently bed ridden.  It’s a bacterial infection… I knew it had to be that or malaria, nothing else in the world makes you feel the way that those illnesses do.  *Inexplicably terrible* 

I’ve been tired for a month or so.  February was pretty easy, after a busy January.  I was around Kampala in February, productive, working, but not traveling.  Then the travels started again. 

I know many of you will laugh at this comment, but I am not as young as I used to be.  I moved to Uganda when I was 23 years old, full of extra energy to go all over the place, in whatever mode of transport you wanted to put me.  But the years have passed, and I am 26… and somehow the taxis stuffed full of people, waiting on a bus for 5 hours before leaving for a 5-6 hour trip, arguing every price just to get something decently fair… it’s exhausting.

Jinja and Rwanda were excellent.  More on those later.  But I was still drained.  5 days of teaching, an overnight bus to Rwanda, meetings, people, lots of things in Rwanda… then back again at 5 AM to Uganda.  Tired.

I decided not to go on the Easter Retreat with Cornerstone.  I should have, I could have, but I am glad I didn’t.

Sometimes you just have to hang up that red superwoman cape and admit, “I can’t do it all, and that’s ok”.

I can’t do it all, and that’s ok.

We were supposed to have another course in Soroti this week.  It was canceled because we didn’t have enough participants, and I am glad.  I couldn’t have done it. 

Thursday to Saturday of last week  I went to Lake Buynoni with Sister Linda for a little get away.  It was great, but we took public transportation.  And I started getting pretty sick on Saturday.  Imagine being in a very uncomfortable taxi for hours while progressively getting sicker and sicker… this is the 2^nd time for me.  And it’s pretty horrible. And

So what do I take away from all of this?

Many things.  But most of all that it’s ok to not be able to do everything.  I don’t think anyone actually expects it of me, but I do demand it of myself.  Why, I don’t know.  I think it’s that American independent woman complex.  

It’s 12:30 in the afternoon, and I haven’t gone to work yet.  But for this week, that is really ok.  My red cape is hanging up in the corner, and I don’t feel like I have to put it on today.  I need to learn to be more human.