What do I DO with my life?

I'm improving a bit. Basically eating is a total battle. Tomorrow I am going into town and am going to buy my self a large meal at my favorite coffee shop.

The next two weeks are looking to be pretty insane. We are running an intensive course called Course Paul which has a lot of different activities and such involved. I have never done this course before, and am helping to facilitate, so it will be a steep learning curve.

I need to learn the noun classes for Runyankore. I haven't written about it here, but I am taking runyankore lessons, which are not very enjoyable. But I need to study so that they actually have some value to me. But time... doesn't exist.

I wanted to take a moment to explain some of the other work I do, and what I will be doing full time after the school is over.

Basically I am getting involved with development consultation for a number of different groups. Mostly this is helping people understand the important of self sustainability, especially when it come to starting new projects. It is more than just self sustainability as well, I am trying to help people see how we can work together and assist those who live in deep poverty.

Also, I am working on a "course" (a set of teachings which can be used in different settings), some training which brings together different elements of basic international development with personal success training. It's hard to explain exactly. Basically I am taking the 7 habits of Highly effective people, along with some other personal management materials, infusing some sustainable development training, all on the back drop of the need for a transformed society.

The hope is to be able to expand this into a program for elementary schools as well, so that the students can grow up with the character development that is not naturally found in Ugandan society. (there are ideals like timeliness, money management, respect and responsibility {a real understanding of why it is needed, instead of it being abused}, etc.)

I've already been invited to give these courses in Tanzania, Zambia, Zimbabwe, and in different parts of Uganda! We'll see what all happens with this!

I'll be giving my first set of training on the community retreat in the end of January. The outlines at due by Nov 12th. Yikes! But I am getting there. I am also working with a man from Zimbabwe a bit this week, he is here to visit and wants to start a youth center. We are going to look at how to begin the work so that it is self sustainable from the start.

In other news, Shalom Center is done! I've included a photo from Luigi's camera, which was taken about 3 weeks ago. The building is beautiful and they are moving in on Nov 15th. They will start with 3 staff and 10 people (who we already know, not straight off the streets) who are in need of some restoration, love and care to help them over come their mental illness.  There will be a few children as well, who need some special care.  It is incredibly exciting! My hope is to spend time helping at Shalom as often as I can when the school is over. Just to clean, love the women and children, and lend a helping hand.   To love those in desperate need.

I am will be working with the community after the retreats to increase the size of some of their projects. The projects are self sustaining but are bringing in no revenue for the community. This HAS to change.

So, that, and more, is what I do with my life!  Oh, and I also write... a lot.

Luigi and Noelle, saying "a little" in spanish... a long standing inside joke

.  I miss this small Italian!

The wages of Matoke is...

I ate a small piece of Matoke today. It was about 2 inches wide and an inch tall. I hadn't eaten Matoke in several weeks. It is mashed, yellow bananas. Matoke is the staple food of Western Uganda. You look around and all you see is Matoke trees. It grows most of the year and is pretty much all they eat.

I ate it. I enjoy the taste of matoke. It's pretty good.

I don't remember when it hit me hard... I think I was just sitting in class, minding my own business. Suddenly I started feeling super sick. My stomach was burning, shooting pain, and cramping. It was terrible. At one point I had to run out of the class room. I ran outside and broke down crying. I am not a big "weeper" but the pain was soooooo intense!

So apparently I am severely allergic to the staple food of the region in which I live. This is terrible. There is a tiny tiny chance that the 2 small piece of meat I ate hadn't been passed over fire (meaning get all the nasty germs away). But I don't think that was the case. I don't know what I am going to do!

This is bad. Very bad.

In other news, we have been without water in our houses for almost the whole 2 months I have been here. This is annoying generally... but when you are really sick like I have been it is not just annoying... it is downright awful. Tonight we didn't have any water, yet I had to use the facilities. I was far too weak to fetch... now what do you do? Not having water has made me much physically stronger.

But I can't take it anymore. I talked to the man in charge of the water and asked him flat out what the heck is going on. He said that the pumps aren't working. I asked a few exploratory questions and discovered the pumps are about 7 years old and still working. They just need some new parts.

I asked how much it will cost... he said 100,000 UShs... which is 50 USD.

I don't have a lot of my own money, but I think that 50 USD is worth ALL of the students and staff members having water in their facilities. A lot of time and energy is wasted fetching water. Also, it is worth my sanity... so that as I am sick, I don't have to worry about it. I can just be sick and flush it all away!

I told the man that I will only give the money to repair it if we are assured that we will have water whenever there is water in the tank (which means when it isn't the dry season... so now there is water) So. 50 dollars, (mostly) constant water... bring it on. Also, I told him I want the job done well. No botch job... I refuse to give money to things unless they are done to the best way possible.

So hopefully there will be water by next week.

Then I can have them fix my shower and have a REAL (though cold) shower for the first time in 2.5 months.

The taxi man.

I know I just posted earlier today, but I had to put up this hilarious event.

I take taxis to and from town, it is a necessary exercise which I never look forward to. You will understand why shortly.

Coming home from town today I went to the normal spot to get a taxi. Of course, half the men on the street come up to me and ask me where I am going, all wanting me in their taxis or to help me get one. Today the first man who came up wanted me in his big taxi, it was going to my destination, but I firmly refuse to go in large taxis because they take over an hour to fill. I get really stubborn.

Then the taxi man came. He is a tall man, about 6 feet. He is thin with broad shoulders and gangly arms. His face is long with a well defined jaw line, on which grows some poorly maintained stubble. He is not ugly, and not incredibly hansom.
He has a big mouth to match the length of his face and eyes which generally look a bit sad or slightly desirous.

I met this man the first time I needed a taxi. I think in my mind we got off to a bad start. He likes muzungus, very obviously. I don’t do well with pushy men, as a rule, and all the men around the taxis are pushy. I think I probably got in his face at some point. But over the last few weeks our “relationship” has improved. The man is good at getting taxis for me, and I try to be polite when I can be.

So today, I stood there waiting for my small taxi for 2000 to munana, as usual. The men flocked around wanting the attention of the white woman. And in came the taxi man. His job is to work that area, which is actually nice because I know he doesn’t have an agenda in terms of getting me in his taxi.

I also know that he DOES in fact have an agenda. And that was made very evident today. I was at the stand for about 5 minutes when the taxi man came walking up. He said “Ah! My friend, you want a small taxi to munana, yes?” I said yes I did and I’d be grateful for his help because the other man wanted me in his matatu, not an option.

He said “Ok I will help you, but you come over here I want to chat for a moment away from this man.” I said No I didn’t want to go chat chat with him, but he said “we just go right here” (about 3 feet away). So I let him tug me over to the car 3 feet from the other man.

And he began. “You see, I use to have a muzungu and then she went back to her place.” He looked at me with sad, pathetic eyes. I burst out laughing. I said out right “No, I won’t be your muzungu” and walked back to the other men.. he was disappointed, I turned and said I’m not available.” (Note: The first guy I wander Mbarara with is going to have to become my boy friend for a few hours to get the men away!)

The taxi man found me a taxi, as usual, (that is really the problem… the man is incredibly useful! Hence I cannot totally ignore him) after talking to me for a while and trying to discover my name. He like the current president. Strike one million.

So finally I got in a small taxi, it didn’t take too long to find 6 other passengers. That is right… there are usually 5 people JAMMED into the back seat of a small car. This time it was me and 4 men. When I got out of the car I felt like my spin was in a knot, the long walk up the road to the community is helpful for spinal readjustment!

I sat and read Dante.

ah, the adventure.

(Note: The other day I was in a taxi that put 17 people into a small van! There are two seats in the back… on which they jammed, like contortionists, 6 people, then the middle 3 seats, where they wedged 6 of us, and then 5, including the driver and kid, in the front 2 seats! I generally take the time in the taxis to pray that I get my own transportation someday!)

Dirt.

It is Monday, which means it is a day off to do personal work, like washing and such. It is also just a day to prepare yourself for the week. It is a nice feature because it means that Sunday can actually be a day of rest.

I had a lot to do today. I am under a bit of pressure to have some proposals written soon and also get a newsletter out to all of you!  I don’t mind that work, there is just a lot to do. But I also knew that my garden needed some attention. I made a rough schedule in my mind and began the day.

After a later than normal rise (8:15 instead of 6:15) I had breakfast, prayed, and got ready for the day. I decided to go to work in my garden. I began with a stick, there are no trowels here, just large hoes which would damage the delicate plants. It was the perfect day for me to garden. One of the coolest days I’ve ever seen here, and also overcast. This means no sun, which means I can stay outside! It was actually cool enough for me to wear my black hoodie while working.

I dug and dug and dug, up rooting all the weeds, cutting back some of the flower plants. I started with my cucumbers, and unexpected watermelons. I didn’t plant the watermelons, but they have showed up! I translated a few, they are struggling now… I hope they make it! I cleared all the weeds and looked at some very nice cucumber plants! Very gratifying.

I planted my garden for a reason. It took us no time at all to plant, about 15 minutes! I knew I would need it. Gardening is therapeutic. Today as I uprooted and pulled, cut and cleared, tilled… it was needed.

My garden is a controlled space. Somewhere that what lives and what dies is dictated by me. Somewhere where I can, on some level, control the outcome… the product. Unlike the rest of my life. A garden; cucumbers, carrots, melons and tomatoes, are familiar. Something I have known before, something I understand how to take care of. I am glad I created this controlled space… it gives me time to think, to be, to enjoy the dirt, and of course to shock the Africans.

I thought a lot as I worked. Around the cucumbers I could be a bit rough with the weeds. I knew exactly where the cucumber plants are, because they are big and obvious. I tilled the soil with the hope of getting up all the little weeds as well as the big.

But when I got to the carrots, I had to be very careful. The carrots are just coming up, tender and small. The weeds around them are trying to choke them, taking all the water and sunlight. I had to work very slowly and carefully around there. It is very possible a good number of carrots came up in the process, but that is why we planted a ton of them!

The tomatoes I had to just stand and look. I couldn’t find them. Finally after studying the weeds for a while I found one plant, doing well. I weeded around it. I left the rest of the weeds because I think that the tomato plants are taking a bit to germinate. I was excited in the carrot section to find a very large tomato plant, right next to one of the flowers. I hadn’t planted it… but it was there none the less. It is doing well.

I think that Gardens are like people. Some people you can be rough with, others you have to be super careful, still others there is just no way of telling what is going on.

I listened to a talk once about reading the bible in "the global south". I thought about that too. Stories and parables about weeds make sense when you live somewhere where you eat straight out of your garden!

A lot of people walked by as I worked, my house is in a very central location. Many of them commented, shocked to see a Muzungu working in the dirt (I was covered with it). One of my best friends walked by and said “My goodness, I have NEVER seen a muzungu touching dirt!” …and she is 48 years old. Most people are surprised that I know how to work in a garden. Another good friend came by as I was carefully working in the carrots. Her final comment was “You should get married here.” I laughed. That is a complement for sure. As I carried a HUGE load of weeds to the burn pile, one of the guys said “Ah, now there is a real African woman.” I was totally covered with dirt at that moment from the weeds.

I found myself incredibly grateful for my mother as I worked away. Grateful for the incredible environment in which I was raised, where the land made sense and I was part of it. A beautiful place which helped me fall in love with nature instead of fear it. I have many good memories of the garden mom and I would grow together in the front yard. As I took rocks out of my garden here I thought of the many rocks in that mound of soil. Things still grew and grew well. Thanks Mom, for being such a good teacher.

So my schedule went out the window as I worked. It was worth it. I will do my shopping after my language lesson instead of before.

In other news I am in love with Dante. He is amazing. The Inferno was one of the best things I have bought in a loooong time!

Part of me wants to go back to the states for a short visit, just to say proper goodbyes and get things settled a bit.

The whole community is incredible grateful for the assistance which we gave them for the renovation of the house hit during the storm. THANK YOU!!

Tomato Sauce and Big Bugs

I went to Kampala last weekend. There, I went to a lot of places which would be much more like what you would find in the west than in the rest of Uganda. I had told my adopted Italian grandpa, Luigi, who has been here for 3 months, that I would see if I could buy him Ragu (or real tomato sauce). The women who cook at the priest’s house have been making their own version of “spaghetti”. It is nothing like Italian or American spaghetti.

So, I spent a rather large amount of shillings on 2 bottles of American Garden tomato sauce! Luigi got really excited when I gave them to him! He even has been sharing them with me. Elizabeth, one of the women who works at the Priest’s house, was eating with us when I gave it to him. She had never seen tomato sauce before. She had been told to make spaghetti, and had never in her whole life, seen what the sauce was suppose to look like. I promised to teach her to make it. Whatever we make won’t be as good because they only sell tomato paste here in Mbarara, I’ve looked. But I think we can come up with something closer to proper tomato sauce!

It is the rainy season. It rains just about every afternoon. Sometimes it rains hard, sometimes not. I thought there were a lot of types of rain in Ireland… but there are even more here. The ground becomes a mud pit. African mud is different than in other places. It sucks you in and won’t let go. My feet are constantly dirty.

Due to the rain, the bugs have started showing up. People here say that the rainy season “brings everything up”… meaning both bugs and plants. (Side note: My garden has been a major let down. It looks more like I sewed grass than carrots! I have a few watermelon plants… which I did not plant! I am hoping it will make a turn for the better soon!) So recently I have been noticing some really big bugs. I saw them first on the screen over our door. Thank God for that screen. The ones there were large and round. You could easily name all their parts without a microscope. When I say big, think big as in the continent of Africa is big! There was one flying around the class room the other night… probably one of the biggest bugs I’ve ever seen. (Second only to the spiders and cockroaches of Sudan, it’s hotter there)

Then there are the millapeds. They are about 4 inches long and snake along the ground as though they have nowhere to go. Their jointed bodies and millions of legs create quite a creature!

The ants have come again. Our bathroom is, each morning, invaded by flying ants which are gross and annoying. The small ants then come to eat the big ants. It’s a lovely combination. The smaller ants have also found my room. I am waging war. I do not cohabitat with ants! Nature is just so much closer here. Even in Kampala… I killed a cockroach in Susanna’s living room, and left my shoe on it for good measure. When I lifted my shoe there was the dead cockroach, covered in ants. Now where did they come from? Let’s just say I’ve started tucking in my mosquito net around the edge of my bed at night. Stay away bugs! Thankfully mosquitos aren't too bad here. Nothing like Masaka and Eldoret (Kenya)!! I am grateful for that, but Malaria is still a stalker.

The other night I came home from Kampala in the dark. Trudging up the long drive in the rain, navigating through the puddles by the reflection they let off from the lights of the compound, I found myself surrounded by cows. They didn’t mind me and I didn’t mind them. All I could think was that the US government is never going to allow me back into the country! I’ve lived on a farm.

My health is sort of improving. We’ll get there eventually.

101

This is blog post 101. Wow.

I am in Kampala. Seated comfortably in the silent living room of Susanna and Peter's lovely abode. The baby and the nanny are both asleep and there is no sound except the small voices of children outside and the clicking of my fingers on the keyboard.

I just finished watching 2 episodes of House.

I am still in Kampala. I broke down and went to the doctor yesterday and got the news I would rather have not received. Everything is PERFECTLY fine, I am totally, 100% healthy.

Basically all of this is food related. My body uses more water to processes the food, and basically over the weeks my whole system has gotten totally thrown out of normalcy, hence the brutal stomach pain. The doctor said that it might even be possible that I am allergic to something I am eating. He gave me some tablets to help my stomach.

I called Betty, my boss, today and we agreed that I'll go home tomorrow. I am trying to give my body a chance to readjust before starting the process of trying to discover what food I am having issue with. I would have much preferred a parasite.

So, I have been able to see Michael Rossi, a friend from England who is here visiting. I am off soon to have lunch with them.

Perhaps I'll buy one more book before heading home to Mbarara. :) Yah birthday presents!

Thank you to all of you who donated towards the repairs after the storms!!

Chocolate and other stories

Yesterday was one of the most intense days I have had in a very long time.  It was an incredible mix of great joys and deep frustration and sadness.

The best thing to happen was the arrival of the foreknown package from the Buckley family in Ireland.  It included a bunch of wonderful things, all of which I was in need of... randomly enough.  And of course, it included chocolate, real chocolate.  And tangfastics, my favorite candy ever.  I had some of the chocolate last night, as I tried to process the incredibly large amount of things pounding through my brain. 

I realized I hadn’t eaten chocolate in 2 months.  How am I alive?  (I think the women reading this understand what I mean by that sentiment!)

As intense as yesterday was, I see something different.  The stress was enormous, but it didn’t get to me as much as it may have in other times in my life.  This is encouraging.  Stress has been something which has caused me a lot of trouble.  But yesterday I just said “I can’t control these situations, I will do what I can and I will pray.  But there is nothing more that I can do.” 

One of the great moments was checking the paypal account yesterday.  Thank you SO much to those who have responded to the request of assistance from the storm!  We are still a ways away from the goal, but I was really encouraged and excited to see some responses.  Thank you for your generosity.

In other, totally unrelated news, we are now totally transcontinental!  This blog has FINALLY been successfully read in South America, meaning that it is being read/has been viewed on all the continents except Antarctica.  Ok, I am a bit of a continent nerd, so this makes me really excited.

Also in other news, I am going to Kampala this weekend.  I need to get a bunch of things, pick up a package, and get away from work for a little while.  It also is a 3 days chance to see what is wrong with my body and how I can fix it.  I might go to immigration on Monday in Kampala, there are some tricky situations here in Mbarara with immigration these days.  It’ll be really good to see some dear dear friends.  J  The network keeps expanding.  It brings me great joy!

Physically I am still struggling, with no answers.  I am a bit concerned because I am really feeling bad this week, in a similar way that I felt when I ended up in the hospital.  I hope I don’t have the same infection again!  That would make Kampala a non option.

This week is a bit less intense for the school.  We are doing a course called “Course John”.  It’s a bit different from anything we’ve done so far, and it has a lot of “dynamics”… skits, experiential stuff.  It’s sort of fun.  It mixes up the classroom setting a bit which is good. 

We have now set things up so that the students are taking on more responsibility and leadership.  The staff is breaking a sigh of relief, and also laughing.  The students are defiantly learning to do a lot of things, and it can be very amusing at times.  Our staff meetings generally find us all laughing pretty hard!  It’s beautiful to see the students growing and learning.

Some of the students are suffering from malaria.  A constant reality in Africa!  A few of them don’t have mosquito nets, so I’ve gone on a mission to get them for them.  I think the community has some extras around, if they don’t I will probably buy a few and lend them for the rest of the school.  Malaria really knocks people out, one of my “daughters” had it two weeks ago and was in bed for over 4 days!

I will fill you all in on Kampala and how that goes!  I can’t wait to get a camera… soon enough I hope!

Storm recovery

Hello Friends!
  I am trying to help with the repairs from the storm.  If you would like to help, I'd really appreciate it!  If everyone who reads this blog donated 6 dollars, we'd get the goal of $500! 

Please consider donating.  The button is just on the left!

All donation are tax deductible and go directly to my work here! 

Storm!

I have never seen rain like it that caused this damage!

The roof hit, and then flew over the house into the vegetable garden beyond.

Community leader, Mattias with the wreckage

One of the beams punctured the roof of the building and put a hole in the wall of the infirmary

The wind and rain ripped the roof off of this semi permanent structure which is used for non-formal education and other meetings.

The building hit is the infirmary, staff meeting room, and community leaders home.  The roof was damaged by the impact.

Life marches on....

Sometimes I don’t know where to start. 

This week has been good.  “Building healthy relationships and self acceptance” …we also talked about sexuality and gender.  I gave a lot of talks, they all went well.

Father Emmanuel has been away for over a week now.  Strangely enough it has been a good thing.  I think I am finding my feet as an individual right now, which is good.  It will be nice when he comes home, but I am doing fine with learning to just be part of life here. 

I’ve made some good friends.  There is one guy, Faustine, who has struck up a wonderful friendship with me.  He has the most intensely kind eyes I have ever seen, and he always looks me square in the eyes.  His smile is pretty radiant too.  Today was great… I was all dressed up today for teaching.  In the morning I greeted him only briefly on the way to class.  But in the afternoon I say him and he signaled for me to come over to where he was.  I went, and he stood up and just said “You are SO smart today, you are really beautiful!” (something along those lines.)  It was a very nice moment. 

It’s the same with many of the other guys around… Frank, John, Baruk, Emmanuel, Lawrence, Mattias, Vincent and the others… they are very affirming, loving, fun and brotherly.  I feel safe as I relate to them. 

The girls are great as well.  My daughters on the DTS bring me great joy every day.  “Mama Noelle” is my name.  My housemate Paula is a really wonderful Kenyan woman, who is just FULL of joy and spunk.  The head of the DTS, Betty, is incredibly wise and a really good laugh.  We laugh so much as a team. 

There are so many others.  Today as I walked to the staff room, Monica, one of the other staff, started yelling “Hey, who is that pretty woman?  Who is that mozungu I see, she is so smart.  Who is this one?”  And she started doing the cute walk they do. 

Angel, Jane, Dorothy, Maris, Auntie Clare, Evelyn, Elizabeth, Jovia, Jovita, Monica…and so many others.  I’m not really white any more.  They will make a comment about “muzungus” and then say “but not Noelle” (or Noellina)…I like staying here because I don’t get yelled at or starred at any more.  Sometimes I forget and then I go out and the barrage comes again!

In closing, I am grateful for my busyness.  I have been VERY busy, but it has been a blessing to finally have real work.  I know that the work I am doing is effective, good and helpful.  I’ve been doing some writing, fund raising work for the DTS, a lot of teaching, mentoring, studying runyankore and other random things which come up. 

My body is still not doing very well.  It is struggling.  But I am just trying to figure out how to balance everything.  It will just take time and humility.  I noticed recently I have lost even more weight. 

The students are really growing.  It’s like being a gardener… watching these students become brighter, and grow in character is beautiful.

There are some Italians I am becoming friends with.  It’s fun.

This muzungu is going to SLEEP now!

Our School!

Finally we have a photo of most of us! A few were sick so they aren't in the photo. But this is the school!